![]() "A lot of my clients express remorse after a rebound because their investment was superficial while other people put their feelings on the line," she says. But once that high wears off, you may just feel guilty, according to Rapini. There's a reason why they're a cliche: rebounds offer a quick boost that’ll make you feel sexy or worthwhile, temporarily. It's hard to wallow when you're making new memories with people who love you. If you've neglected your pals or family members, ask them to try out those new places with you or pick back up on traditions you had that may have fallen by the wayside. Lean on your networkĪfter a breakup is the perfect opportunity to spend quality time with good friends you may not have seen as much while you were paired off. That helps you break up your usual routine and get away from the places that you’d always go to with your former partner. ![]() ![]() "Once a week, find a coffee shop or a restaurant you've never been to and invite at least one friend to go with you," says Mary Jo Rapini, a psychotherapist and author of Re-Coupling: A Couple’s 4 Step Guide to Greater Intimacy and Better Sex, who gives this assignment to all of her clients who are working on healing from heartbreak. "Write a list and think of traits that speak to your character, emotional strengths, skillsets, abilities and any other quality that has value in a relationship." If you’re having a hard time coming up with ideas, tap your closest friends and family, who would jump at the chance to share all the reasons they feel fortunate to have you in their lives. To remind yourself how very worthy of love you are, get out a pen and paper or your Notes app and put it down in black and white. It's easy to get down on yourself when you get dumped. "Focus on what you really value in yourself and what you brought to the relationship, rather than what qualities you don’t possess," Winch advises. If your partner initiated the break-up, it’s perfectly normal to start picking apart your physical appearance and personality traits, questioning what's wrong with you that would cause someone to fall out of love. But don't despair: We asked relationship experts for their best advice on how to get over a breakup, and there are a number of simple steps you can take - none of which involve Ben & Jerry. ![]() You’ve made compromises as well as future plans, and having to let go of that isn’t as simple as swiping left or right. Then during 'withdrawal,' we get desperate and act out of character." Not only that, long-term relationships mean you've molded your life around another person’s. "We get used to having a certain substance, and that substance is a person and the relationship in our lives. "Functional brain scans have shown that love is a form of addiction," says Guy Winch, PhD, licensed psychologist and author of How To Fix a Broken Heart. You’ve been told all your life that there are more fish in the sea (just open your dating app of choice and there they are), but why is it just so hard to bring yourself to cast a new net already? But in reality, once you’ve hit rocky road bottom, you may find yourself slipping into self-destructive habits - ignoring your friends, neglecting your work and generally forgetting about self-care. Romantic comedy movies and sitcoms would have us believe the process is simple: Turn on a marathon of sad movies in your coziest pajamas, sob into a pint of ice cream for a few days straight and poof! Montage over, you’re a brand new you and out to take on the world. Nothing plunges your self-esteem into a pit of despair quite like a bad breakup. ![]()
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